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Sunday 13 October 2013

Coping Strategies: Rejection

By: Roseanna Leaton

Acceptance and being liked are important to our sense of self worth and self image. We like to be liked. We feel better when we know that we are accepted. This is something that comes naturally to us, an instinct that we have from our earliest years. Babies seek acknowledgement, approval and love. 
Thus rejection is a bitter pill to swallow. It doesn't matter what age you are. Rejection is something that grates against our very nature and grinds away at our sense of self worth.

Even when a person knows that they are in a relationship that isn't working, if their partner decides to extricate him or herself from their bond, the rejection is still difficult to come to terms with. An outsider may well think that you should be rejoicing as you have been released from a difficult, or inappropriate, relationship. You too might also at a logical level know that you should feel that sense of relief, and yet your emotions are unlikely to reflect that logic. Rejection is hard to take.

Sometimes rejection comes as a complete surprise to a person who thought and believed that he or she was one part of a solid partnership, only to discover that this was not really the case. There is little to rejoice in such a circumstance even when perceived from a logical standpoint.

Even when all you had was a secret hope that your interest in another might be mutual, to be rejected by that other person can still hurt in a very deep and burning manner. Rejection, it would seem, is extremely disturbing to one's emotional equilibrium, no matter what the circumstances are.

Thus the big question here is how can you help yourself to get over these feelings? How can you come to terms with this situation, bounce back and move on? 
One very basic factor to appreciate is that if you keep thinking about all of the good times, or the great things about your ex you will naturally perpetuate your feeling of loss and rejection. If instead you were to focus upon the bad times or the bad things about your ex then you will naturally change the emotions that you are experiencing.

Instead of loss and rejection, your emotions may vary from anger to frustration to relief. The more you intentionally focus in this way, the more swiftly your emotions will change and you will feel yourself bouncing back to your normal self. And so every time you catch yourself day dreaming about the good times it is important that you STOP and intentionally switch your focus.

I'm not saying that this is easy. But it is EASIER than allowing yourself to wallow in rejection.

If you need a little help to get over your ex then hypnosis can be a helpful tool to employ. Hypnosis is a natural state of relaxation and will help soothe your emotional turmoil.

Hypnosis also provides you with access to your subconscious mind, the part that thinks and acts automatically and spontaneously. This means that you can make suggestions to interrupt your instinctive train of thoughts, to put that STOP in place so that switching your focus becomes a far easier task. Suggestions can also be made to build your confidence and feel optimistic about the future.

Rejection is never easy, no matter what the circumstances are. There are things that you can do to help to change your focus, lift your mood and bounce back.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

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Greg said...

coping with rejection by engorging in indian food... yes iv certainly been there too :)